Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks
up and says, "When you see all the stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"
The LT replies,
"Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the universe; how small a piece of such a grand design.
I can't help but wonder if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why? What do you
think of, Sergeant?"
"I think somebody stole the damn tent."
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them
a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market
in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all
your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"
family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we
only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told
me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land
in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down
so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine
gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last
ten with his bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What kind of moral
did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Don't f**k with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."
Shortly after joining the Army, I was in line with some other inductees
when the sergeant stepped forward with that day's assignments. He handed several tasks out and then asked, "Does anyone
here have experience with radio communications?"
A longtime ham radio operator shouted, "I do!"
"Good," he said."
“You can dig the hole for the new telephone pole."
moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when a PFC knocked on the door.
of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the PFC to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes,
General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes,
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What
do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the PFC replied, "I'm just
here to hook up your telephone."